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The second a dog enters your life, you can’t imagine your day without them. They almost feel immortal. You believe they will always be at the door with dancing eyes and wagging tail when you come home.
If our love could keep them alive, no dog would ever die. But we all know love is not enough. Sooner or later, we will have to say goodbye.
The Day My Best Friend Died
The vet stepped into the exam room as I tried to keep from hyperventilating through my tears. Dante, our beloved German Shepherd, was still in the back rooming getting painkillers through an IV.
“I’m terribly sorry, but Dante had an undiagnosed splenic tumor that has burst,” she said solemnly.
“We ran his blood work, and we highly suspect it is a cancerous tumor.”
I could feel the blood pounding in my ears as my heart raced and the tears kept flowing like rivers down my face.
“You have two options,” she continued.
“First, we can operate and remove his spleen. This surgery, if he even makes it through, will be very difficult for a geriatric dog and he will be in a lot of pain.”
“However, you should know that if you decide on the surgery and we open him up, if the tumor looks cancerous – and I am about 90% sure that it is – I will euthanize him on the table in the middle of surgery.”
The walls closed in around me as she kept talking.
“It’s too cruel to bring him back out of the anesthesia when he has only a few painful weeks to live trying to recover from losing his spleen before he dies from cancer.”
“Your second option is to simply euthanize him now surrounded by his family and not put him through more pain.
He’s bleeding out, so you need to decide quickly. However, given his lab work and symptoms, I would strongly recommend the second choice.”
The Choice
My mind was racing. My heart was breaking. He was fine just an hour ago. A week ago the vet had given him a clean bill of health. No one caught the tumor.
This was the dog that saved my life from an assault by defending me from my attacker. This dog was my shadow, my protector and best friend.
My husband and I had very little time to make that heartbreaking decision in the dead of night.
We knew if we did the surgery, at best he was facing a painful road of recovery when he was already showing signs of arthritis and hip dysplasia.
At worst, he would have cancer and he would die opened up on the cold surgery table away from us.
So, we made the most painful decision of our lives. We chose option two.
Dignity in Death
The vet brought him back to the exam room while I tried to compose myself so we didn’t alarm him.
I cradled his head and kissed the black diamond on his forehead over and over like I had done every night for the eight years he had been ours.
I kept whispering “I love you” in his ear so it was the last words he would hear in as strong a voice as I could project from the brokenness that used to be my chest.
My husband pressed against his side and hugged him close, and we clung to him as his life slipped away by the vet’s injection on the clinic floor.
When we were weighing that awful decision, we thought of the honor Dante had always inherently possessed, even in old age. We owed him the type of death that matched his valiant life.
So, as much as it hurt, as much as we weren’t prepared to lose him, as much as we wanted a few extra months with him to make us feel better, as much as we wanted to take his place, we gave him the gift of dying with dignity surrounded by people who loved him.
The Gift
To this day, I still can’t recall that moment without tears. However, given the vet’s advice and what we knew then, we would make the same decision again.
Dante never experienced what it was like to be unable to walk. He never lost control of his bowels. He never had to be carried because he was too weak to move.
Other than the few minutes it took to rush him to the vet’s office and start the pain medication, he never suffered.
We loved him to the end, and we were there to help him through his final breath with the loving act of letting him go before life got too dark.
It was at that moment I realized euthanasia, when done with the dog’s best interest, is a gift.
Not Enough Time
One of the cruelest aspects of pet ownership is that, in most cases, you will outlive your dog. The average dog’s lifespan is between 10 to 13 years. The average human lifespan is 71 years.
Given the amount of love we feel for our pets, these number discrepancies seem very cruel. The odds are good that sooner or later you will have to say goodbye.
There are many reasons pet owners are forced into euthanasia, but here are a few of the more common ones:
- Rabies: No cure, so euthanasia is the only option.
- Traumatic Accident
- Cancer
- Kidney Failure
- Parvovirus
- Distemper
- Old age
- Genetic disease
Most of the time, even under the best of circumstances with the highest-quality care, the inevitable decision can only be delayed.
When Do You Know It’s Time?
That’s the million-dollar, guilt-ridden question.
You may have heard people say that your pet will let you know when it’s time. Sadly, it’s often not the case.
You just get to a point where you know each day you keep your dog alive is simply giving them existence, not life enrichment.
As dog owners, we hold their lives in our hands. Unless they slip peacefully away in the night, we usually have to face this avalanche of emotions of what to do once our beloved best friend starts to go downhill.
Dogs and humans have similar organ systems. When they start to fail, it’s thought that they feel pain in the same way humans experience it.
I find this helpful when tackling this question of when it’s time to put them to sleep, because the owner can figuratively put themselves in their pet’s place.
As humans, euthanasia isn’t an option. However, many terminal human patients would willingly choose it over lingering in a drug-induced stupor and suffering in a vegetative state while waiting for the end.
This is why people sign DNR forms, so their lives aren’t artificially prolonged.
While euthanasia may feel devastating to us, it is actually a merciful final gift we can give our suffering canine companion.
Some Questions To Ask
Try to put yourself in your pup’s place when considering if it’s time to let them go.
- If you had a terminal disease and were in constant pain, would you want to continue that life?
- Would you want to be alive if you could no longer do the things you enjoyed?
- Do good and happy days outnumber painful and sad days?
- Does your dog still like to eat?
- What type of life would you have if you couldn’t control your bowel movements or walk?
- Would you want to go through painful surgeries and try to recover when your body is already about to give out?
There are also the financial aspects when considering whether or not to prolong your dog’s life.
While it may seem heartless to consider this factor, many owners don’t have pet insurance or, if they do, it may not cover that particular expensive treatment.
When age, expense, suffering and a poor outcome come together in the perfect storm, it makes sense to stop fighting the inevitable outcome.
However, on the opposite side of the argument, if your dog’s quality of life is good and they aren’t in pain, you should also try to do what is in their best interest and care for them, even if it isn’t convenient or cost effective.
When Putting Off Euthanasia Was the Right Decision
In contrast to Dante’s story, we have a happier ending for his successor. This story illustrates that you should not be afraid to try a therapy if the dog is able to continue with a good life during the process.
Our German Shepherd, Soren, was diagnosed with decimated aspergillosis. The fungal infection had moved to his lungs and leg bones, and he was given a poor prognosis for survival.
Part of the reason that the prognosis was so bad was that many pet owners put their dogs down due to the extensive treatment protocol and poor outcomes associated with this disease.
No only were the anti-fungals expensive, they took months or even years to fully eradicate the infection. Usually, the medicine still didn’t work and the dog would eventually die after consuming thousands of dollars of medicine.
We Chose to Fight
However, Soren was only four years old and had a long life ahead of him. We knew that he was a fighter. His pain could be managed during the treatment and his quality of life and appetite were still good.
We were prepared to put him to sleep if it became clear that he was losing his fight and no longer enjoyed life.
Yet, even though he had a poor prognosis, we took a chance. After thousands of dollars and six months worth of anti-fungals and time-consuming care, it paid off.
Soren beat the very slim odds and miraculously survived. Today, he is a happy seven-year-old dog with no trace of the fungal infection.
In this case, we weighed the quality of life and decided if we could manage his pain and he started to improve, these sacrifices were well worth having him with us another decade.
No One Can Make This Decision But You
Ultimately, this question of when it is time to put your dog down is one only you can answer. You know your dog best. You can see the suffering in their eyes and changes to their personality.
For some people, it’s difficult to separate the need to keep their pets alive with their dog’s need to go.
For others, it’s tough to separate the inconvenience of the cost and care necessary to give them a fighting chance over the ease and cost savings of the euthanasia option.
As their owner, it is your job to protect them from needless suffering, even at the cost of your own heartbreak.
However, it is also your job to help them recover if there is a good chance they can do so, even if their care may take some effort or financial hardship to manage.
Always remember to error on the side of your dog’s highest well being.
While the decision is yours, you don’t have to go through the experience by yourself.
Your vet will be there to advise you on the best treatment for your dog. Partner with them to get all the facts to make the most informed decision.
Making Preparations and What To Expect
We don’t like to think about sad things, and saying goodbye to your furry family member certainly tops the list of devastating experiences.
When you ultimately decide it’s in your dog’s best interest to give him the dignity of a painless death, there are some things you must consider to help prepare yourself for the experience.
While it may be tempting to put off thinking about these preparations while your pet still seems healthy and happy, it’s actually better to address them now before you’re an emotional puddle in the vet’s office.
Making the Appointment
If you decide it’s time, you will first make an appointment with your vet to schedule the euthanasia procedure. Make sure to do this when the office isn’t too busy and the vet won’t rush your goodbyes.
Some vet clinics have special rooms specifically for euthanasia with back doors so you don’t have to walk through the waiting room blubbering like a baby.
There are also mobile euthanasia services that will come to your house to perform the procedure to spare your pet a trip to the clinic and let them pass in familiar surroundings.
What to Bring
Decide what to bring to the appointment. If your pet is still eating, bring their favorite treat. Take things that comfort them, like a favorite bed or toy.
If you are planning to take the body, bring a blanket, towel or crate to use to transport them to their burial location.
Do You Want to Be There?
You will also need to decide if you want to stay with your pet while the euthanasia is administered or leave the room until after the procedure is finished.
Some people don’t want that memory and would rather let their kind vet help their dog go to sleep calmly while they wait in the waiting room.
Others want to be there to hold them until the end. You need to decide what is best for you and your family.
Please understand, witnessing euthanasia is very upsetting as you watch your pet slip away. However, it can also be comforting to see for yourself that they don’t suffer.
If you decide to not be present for the euthanasia, don’t do drop-off euthanasia. Pets can sometimes be kenneled until the end of the day when the vet has time to get to them.
Please don’t leave your dog in a strange cage alone listening to other crying animals in their last hours. Your dog doesn’t deserve to have this final experience as the bookend to a life of love and companionship.
Instead, insist that the vet perform the procedure while you wait and remain in the waiting room until it is finished.
When It’s Time
You will probably feel a large range of emotions on the day you bring your pet to the vet’s office. Many people feel guilt, fear, sadness and confusion. Others feel numb or in shock.
Understand that all of these feelings are normal. You are experiencing a huge loss to your family. You have the right to grieve and work through the sadness at your own pace.
Your vet will most likely ask you to sign an Authorization for Euthanasia document to prove that you requested the procedure for legal reasons.
They will then give you some time to say goodbye. Try to make your pet as comfortable as possible in their last moments by bringing their favorite bed to lie on, toy to snuggle with or a tasty treat if they are still eating.
Try to stay calm while they are still conscience so you don’t alarm them. Your dog can pick up on your grief and may become frightened. For their sake, try to remain strong while they are aware of their surroundings.
What Will Happen During Euthanasia?
If you decide to stay with your dog, the vet will then give your dog a calming sedative that will help them go to sleep peacefully. Unconsciousness usually sets in within 5 to 15 minutes.
Remember that all your pet will experience is a sleepy feeling and will fall into a deep sleep. They will feel no pain.
Next, your vet will administer a dose of highly concentrated anesthesia specifically made for euthanasia. It basically overwhelms the brain and shuts it down.
The breathing may quicken at first as a reflex to the brain’s lack of activity. It usually stops within 30 seconds. The heart then slows and stops over one to three minutes.
Sometimes the dog will take a few final, sudden breaths before completely succumbing to the injection. Their eyes may remain slightly open, the skin may twitch and the tongue may relax.
Once you have witnessed euthanasia, you will realize just how peaceful it actually is for your dog. They literally just go to sleep.
After Your Pet Has Passed
Decisions on what to do after your pet has been euthanized are best made before your appointment. Planning early gives you more time to just grieve without having to make any difficult decisions.
You may want to keep a memento to remember you pet. Some people keep a tuft of fur or make an impression of a paw print in a clay mold.
You will also want to decide what to do with the body. Some people like to take their pet’s body and bury it in a grave on their property or a pet cemetery. Others will let the veterinary clinic dispose of it.
Some owners will also pay to have their pet cremated, at times with a favorite toy, and the ashes returned to them.
You can also choose group cremation. In these cases, your pet will be cremated with other dogs and cats and you will not get their ashes back.
Many families prefer to have a private funeral to honor their pet’s life. You can even order a bio urn for your pet and plant a tree that grows from their ashes.
If you’re unsure which option is best, ask your veterinarian for recommendations on pet cemeteries or cremation services in your area.
You can then check pricing and procedures and decide what works best for your family.
I purchased a Pet Loss Urn for Linus who passed over a year ago, but I haven’t had the heart to move his ashes from our living room to outside. It still hurts and I miss him everyday.
Take Time To Process Grief
Realize that just like any traumatic loss, you will have to take time to heal.
Try to schedule the euthanasia for a time when you don’t have to immediately go back to work or interact with people if you need some time to have a good cry.
Many people may not realize the impact losing a pet can bring on their emotional health. It’s helpful to seek out counseling, support groups or create tributes to your pet’s memory to work through the grieving process.
Don’t feel guilty or listen to people saying, “It was just a dog.” We all know that isn’t true.
Dogs are a daily part of our lives and family. They are often there when people aren’t, and that devotion forms a strong bond that will hurt just as deeply when severed as losing a human family member.
You may feel a false guilt when you decide to put your dog to sleep. You need to realize that you are not “killing” them. You are giving them the greatest gift by sparing them from a prolonged and painful end.
Instead of feeling like their executioner, recognize your true title – their hero. You selflessly put their comfort and best interest before your need to keep them lingering for your benefit.
While you help your human family grieve, don’t forget about the other pets in your household.
Dogs and cats often form strong bonds with other animals in their pack. Your remaining pets may go through their own grieving process.
Moving Forward After Loss
While it may feel like the pit in your heart will never heal, there is hope. While time doesn’t erase all wounds, it does dull the feeling.
You may find that the sadness comes in waves. When the death first happens, you feel like you’re in a stormy sea, feeling the waves of grief constantly.
As time passes, the waters calm, but you still get the occasional wave hitting you.
Eventually, the sea is as calm as glass and you see the sun again.
While you will occasionally get a rouge wave when a memory hits you or you see their favorite sunbathing spot, you will find that the majority of your life is again filled with happiness.
You may even decide to get another dog to fill the void in your family.
There are so many good dogs that need loving homes, and offering your heart to your next fur kid is a great way to find healing and a sense of purpose after loss.
Conclusion
It is, without a doubt, one of the greatest injustices that our beloved pet’s lifespan doesn’t match our own. Dogs give us far too little time on this earth, but they make up for their shorter years by experiencing them to the fullest with us.
While euthanasia is the darkest day of dog ownership, take comfort in the fact that it is also the time your dog needs you the most. Just like you were there for life, having the strength to support them in death is the greatest act of love you can offer.
When you miss your pet, just think back to all of the good memories you’ve had with them. This way, they will never truly be gone, but will live on in tail-wagging splendor in your heart.
Disclaimer
All content on this site is provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be nor can it be considered actionable professional advice. It must not be used as an alternative to seeking professional advice from a veterinarian or other certified professional.
LabradorTrainingHQ.com assumes no responsibility or liability for the use or misuse of what’s written on this site. Please consult a professional before taking any course of action with any medical, health or behavioral related issue.
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51 comments
Thank you for this article. 4 days ago my husband and I had to make the decision to put our beautiful boy to sleep. He was 7.5 years old. He had a very simular situation to first story in this article. Kaiser had a tumor which had ruptured, we didn’t know he had this tumor until it ruptured and we took him to emergency. The vet was wonderful and explained that he would have to have his spleen removed, and his abdomen was full of blood. The vet told us he wouldn’t recover well from the surgery because of his size and age (he is a boerboel). If the tumor was malignant (the vet said there was a 70% chance it was malignant) he would have 1 – 6 months to live without chemo, or only 6 – 12 months with chemo. The vet reassured us that our decision to put him to sleep was the best decision. It was heart wrenching, and are feeling so much grief and sadness but we know we did the right thing. The worst part is it was a complete shock and not expected that we would lose our beautiful family member that morning. We will always have him with us
This was a beautifully written article; thank you. I just had to say goodbye to my beloved 14 year old pug a few days ago, and his counterpart, a 16 year old female pug, less than two months prior. My grief in losing 2 dogs within such a short period of time has been overwhelming, but knowing that they are no longer suffering provides me with some peace and closure. I know they are once again united, and playing together across Rainbow Bridge.
Read your reply…Rhe over all article was outstanding…My12 year old Boston Terrier has a heart mumur. he is a service dog, loyal dedicated, and outstanding.. I am 71 yers old. murray 12. For 12 years he has been with me every where around the globe. I have no children, or grand children. He means every thing to me. Very hard decision for me. I wanted him to walk with the lord. today I am uncertain about that.Thanks for your cpmment, it ment alot to me
This all makes perfect sense but doesn’t help me decide it it is time. I just want to cry and we haven’t decided to take this step but we know it is not to far away. T
Dear Kerry, I am in the same boat as you.
I put our 13 year old chocolate lab Millie down October 15. Her hind legs were failing more frequently. She had a look of struggle on her face for months. It was time. I have to tell you, I struggle every day wondering if I did the right thing. I really miss her.
I am going trough the same thing right now with my Akita , She is my service Dog and I have never had to make such a choice in my life . You are not alone
Thank you for this article. It helped me more than anything else that I have read. My Gsd was 13, incontinent and losing control of her back legs, but I am still feeling guilty about euthanasia. I miss her so much. I pray that I did the right thing. God knows I loved that precious girl.
Thank you for this article, my husband and I found great comfort in reading this. We can closely relate to your first case story. Our dog Kaiser was a big boy, a 7.5 year old boerboel who still had lots of energy and was not showing any signs of old age other than he was a bit slower when getting up and his hearing was started to go because of reoccurring ear infections I suspect. On 30th december 2016 my husband woke up early to take Kaiser for a walk. My husband went outside to get him and found Kaiser lying on the ground, he could get up and walked a few meters before collapsing with his legs splayed. He was then able to get up and walk inside to his bed but he was very weak. We were then able to get Kaiser to walk to our car, and my husband took him to the vet. I gave him a few kisses on his head in the car before they left but it did not enter my mind that there was a possibility he might not come home. When they arrived the vet checked his gums and could see they were white, and so they rushed him in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that there was a tumor which had ruptured and there was a lot of blood in his abdomen. The vet gave us two options, the first being that he could have surgery to remove his spleen however because of his age and he is such a big dog he wouldn’t recover well. The vet is 70% sure the tumor was malignant and in this case he would only have 1 – 6 months to live without chemo or 6 – 12 months with chemo. Our second option was to put Kaiser to sleep, this is the option which we heavy heartedly had to make. We couldn’t put him through all of the pain and suffering just to keep him alive for a little longer. We were left feeling guilty and shattered because we were questioning our decision for the remainder of the day. However we know now we made the right decision, and there wasn’t another option for him. We are unbelievably upset and missing him like mad but we know he isn’t in pain, and we can’t wait to see him again one day. I hope my story will also help comfort someone who is put into the same situation we were in.
Hi Sara-
I came across your article as I have been trying to find any insight after putting my dog to rest 4 months ago. I have been stuck in guilt for a while and life has felt joyless ever since he’s been gone. Your post really helped, particularly the part about “false guilt”. I constantly question whether the timing was right and if we should of waited a few more days. My poor guy had an enlarged heart and also was unable to urinate on his own. I was so set on fixing everything that I felt I was in denial of his health and age. He was 13.5. I wish I had planned better too. I am sad and miss my little guy everyday. Thanks again for such a well written piece on saying goodbye to our special soul mates.
Thank you for this article. We lost our boy Killian ( age 14) this past Tuesday. He was the joy in my life and truely my best friend. In the past year he has been through enough after being diagosed with hip dysplasis and arthritis in his hips. ( he is shepard/husky mix ) but in good health otherwise. In January he experienced some sort of eye infection that was very scary and required a lot of attention but with the right medications, great vet advice and lots of love and attention his eye healed. I thought Thank you God and that I am getting my Killian back. He began losing control of his bowels and we kept a belly band on him while he was inside the house due to leakage. None of that bothered me..I was willing to do whatever was needed to keep my boy. His hips slowly started showing the progression and sometimes he couldn’t get up especially on a slippery floor. I thought I had the answer to that too. I placed non-slip rugs everywhere where there was tile or non-carpered areas. He was the king in my house so he had multiple beds. The one room ( what was I thinking was a bare floor because the carpet needed to be removed ( puppy accidents )and I found him after a long workday in an awful position. He had fallen or slid down and couldn’t get up..I have no idea if it was minutes or hours but my gut says hours. He could barely walk. I moved him to the carpet and helped him believing he was stiff or his leg was asleep but he wasn’t right. I called my vet and the first thing they said..”is it time”? They have been amazng and know that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him..nothing! I believe the vet was waiting for that call..not at that moment, that day but that it would come and it did! I have another dog Maci who I am worried about. She has NEVER been alone..they were ever a day apart and I worry she will get depressed. I will do everything in my power to prevent that. She is my baby girl.
So the hard decision to let my friend rest in peace was made. I keep playing it over and over in my head..the “what if I”! I sleep from mere exhaustion and wake up crying. It has been less then 2 days but I have to say I will feel sadened forever!
I do feel as though I killed my baby becase ultimately I was in control ( or was I-I was a mess ). I was the one who had the final say even after the vet suggested it. It was peaceful and evetything mentioned whould happen did happen. He went to sleep and in a very short time his heart stopped. He never felt pain. I would know because he and I were so close..he was in my soul..I know no pain. But now I have to live without him, without his puppy kisses, his way of comforting me when I needed it..but I got to comfort him in the end. I hope he knew how hard I tried to fix him but couldn’t.
That’s very sad, Maureen. But it sounds like you did the very best you could for him, made sacrifices yourself for him and you should take great comfort from the fact that you really did care for him greatly until the very end, even including taking the very heartbreaking decision to let him go, which is sometimes the kinder and the right thing to do. He’ll live on in your heart and in your memories.
Thank you for this article. Our 13 year old flat coated retriever was having slight incontinence issues so we did blood work and it all came back perfect. Then on Sunday..a week from today he was freaking out in the house and I noticed his anal area was pussy and red. We went to emergency and they felt a mass the size of a baseball. Friday before nothing..we did a needle aspirate and found out it was cancer. Too large to operate on we opted for palliative care and on Saturday put him to sleep. We did not want to subject him to radiation..surgeries to remove tumor and lump nodes and then have him pass shortly after..it did not seem fair to him. I am struggling with the guilt and the greif and this article was what I needed to hear.
I needed to hear this too. Two days ago I had to euthanize my 12 year old Rottweiler, Cesar. He was in good enough health, so we thought until one day we noticed blood in his bed. Close inspection revealed a bleeding melanoma on his gums. Within days his breathing was affected and His eyes were so sad. He was slowly bleeding all the time. I was in denial and shock. I took him for one last walk, and fead him steak for 2 days. We knew we couldn’t afford treatment, and he was too old to recover well anyways. It was the worst day of my life. I miss him so much. He was my best friend and I feel so empty here without him. I feel so guilty for not being able to afford to help him but I know it wouldn’t have bought him much quality time anyways, and with 3 young kids, my financial situation is already strained. I’ll always miss him. The pain is indescribable. I loved him so much.
As my brother is deaf we have a hearing dog for him. Recently she has been growling at our other dog and doesn’t like to be touched at all. My mum is thinking about getting her put down. Shelbe is only 7 years old, Collie cross Labrador. Soppy and fluffy as can be, I just don’t want her to go, she’sy best friend. This article really helped me as I’ve been really upset about it. Thank you.
Hi Felicia. You should speak with your vet and ask their advice on a behavior specialist who can offer advice in the situation.
Our dogs name was Mystic. She was a giant schnauzer . She had been having problems getting up and we would always help. She would always hhide in the closet to sleep and eat. When we took her to the groomers to get clipped, she fell from the table which was an inch from the floor. So not a Hugh fall but it shattered her leg. The vet was going to try to fix it but xrays showed she had bone cancer that had spread to her lungs. He said he could amputate the leg and give her treatments but she would suffer and qualit of life would not be there. I am still crying and wondering if I made the right decision. But deep down I know I did. She was my rock and it hurts so bad. I know in time I will understand I made the right decision. Thank you so much for the great article. It has helped.
Felicia, years ago my friendly dog became snappy and grouchy and suddenly wanted to bite . It turned out he had developed arthritis and he was acting out from being in pain. We gave him remadyl until he finally died at 18. It was incredible for him. Definitely have your dog checked out by a vet as suggested here, it might be something you can treat and it could give you your healthy happy dog back.
My dog has cancer
My Boston Terrier is 13 & 7 months I see the signs now but I want her to make it to 14 years old then do an evaluation on her I have given her a good life but I know she has a short lifespan now I see her suffering and crying at night and I give her 1/2 of pill of tramadol and that does the trick but for how long. She is my best friend I don’t want to lose her but I also don’t want her to suffer so we will see on her Birthday April 2nd then go from there
Thanks so much for sharing the story of Dante. It resonated with me so much. Late Thursday night my beautiful female German Shepherd, Terra, just a few days short of her 11th birthday, appeared at the back four just staring out and giving me her characteristic wheezing that she wanted out. She looked like she does when she gets an upset stomach and wants to eat grass so given that the snow was about a foot high, put her on her leash and guided her out to her run. Usually she pulls me. She just went out and stood there. We did this twice. Then after we got back in the house she started vomiting and couldn’t seem to stop. I thought maybe she’d been chewing on something and had a blockage so immediately called the emergency vet. Clinic and they agreed that I should get her in ASAP. I can’t tell you how numb I felt driving over. I didn’t know what to expect but nothing prepared me for what I was to face. The vet examined her and palpate her abdomen. She yelped. She asked me if she had exhibited any other symptoms prior to this evening. I said no, I could think of anything. Even in the morning when she went out after breakfast she was bounding around like normal. After what seemed like forever the vet returned after looking at her X-ray and ultrasound…”I have some bad news…” I almost didn’t hear anything after that but the outcome was dire. She had fluid around her heart, fluid in her abdominal cavity, and multiple tumours in her liver and spleen. The vet suggested euthanasia as an option right away since even with draining the fluid from the heart she may only have hours or days, not to mention the pain she was in. I knew in my heart or hearts what I needed to say but I felt I needed to call my son (by this time it was 1 am). He reassured me as I sobbed into the phone that he was ok with whatever decision I had to make and that she gave us so much love and laughs that we couldn’t ask her for much more. Bolstered by his reassurance I agreed to having her euthanized right there. I would have liked to have brought her home and had her put down on her favourite blanket but I could see she was ebbing fast and had
lost her spark. I stayed with her through the procedure and gave her one last hug and held her paw. It was the least I could do.
The grieving will take some time but I am feeling better about my decision now that I was able to write it down. I’m glad now that she went so quickly and that she didn’t have to suffer or have her death prolonged. She was ready, I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Thankyou for this article it has helped with my overwhelming sense of guilt
Today i will be cremating my best friend my constant supporter and companion the four legged love of my life i write this with him lay next to me which for me is comforting
Dixie a staffordshire bull was full of life loved by everyone and a true charcter last week i went on holiday he was fine and stayed at home with my son , the day before my return my son said he wasnt himself couldnt be bothered
I got home following day he greeted me with less enthusiasm as normal but none the less happy to see me i fed him cuddled him gave him pain relief and we went bed he slept fine
The following morning his energy levels were depleating and his legs giving way we went vets he had bloods urinalysis and ultrasound done then stayed in for few hours for fluids i picked him up and took him home with antibiotics and painrelief he lay with me all night drinking excessively at 4am he woke me could barely weightbear falling and legs splaying the look of desperation was heartbreaking i took him down carried him outside for wee bhrought him back were he settled then the uncontrollable spasms and twitching started resulting in a grand mal seizure
The vet was called and a home visit arranged he slept post ictal but after a while the twitching began again the vet arrived thought he could have a brain tumour resulting in the seizures
I knew i couldnt let my majestic boy be reduced to this he was so proud handsome and independant
He was PTS in my arms at home at 6pm 2 days after i arrived home from holiday i am riddled with guilt for going away and having to make the ultimate choice of letting him go
The pain is physical the hurt intense and the guilt overwhelming today i will take his physical being to be cremated and return with his ashes another task i know i owe him but desperately dont want to do
I am broken emotinally and physically cant eat or sleep and desperately wanting my boy back how will i live without him i will never have such two way unconditional love again my life will never be the same xxx
hey, i understand how you feel, my dog (14) was put down on sunday, seeing the last week of hid life was heartbreaking for me, seeing his inability to walk, he wasnt eating properly or drinking much and i was up all night with him because he was crying :/ he will also be cremated and getting the ashes back, i have no decided what to do with the ashes yet. I hope you are starting to feel better now xxx
I’m just so relieved you got to see him before he was PTS. Try and see it that way. I know how you feel though after getting my precious 10 year old Lab PTS two weeks ago. Biggest shock of my life and heartbreaking, but had to do it for her sake – heart problems caused breathing issues.
We are about to put down our 3rd lab. After the second, I thought I could never love like that again. But HOlly showed me how. You can find this deep, honest love again. I did.
My dog is 17 years old.
she doesn’t want to walk,eat or drink and she has blood cancer.
im going to put her down in couple of days but shes been with me all my life.
right now i am 16 and i got her at the age of 5 and she was with me 12 years.
i don’t know how to handle this.
I understand how you feel, i am 22 and got my dog when I was about 8, he was put down last sunday (aged 14) due to kidney disease and he wasnt walking , eating or drinking much by the end :/ just know that you are doing the right thing by putting him out of pain ad suffering, he will be in a better place soon, hugs xxx
Great article. It has helped me put my mind at ease a bit after having to make this upcoming devastating decision.
I appreciate this article also. I had the vet over a few weeks ago to euthanize my precious dog because he had bladder cancer that was removed a year ago but came back and although we had a great year, he suddenly was to unable to eat and he was obviously uncomfortable. He also had severe heart failure but you’d never hiw it from his beautiful personality. Anyway, the grief is still unbearable even though we had almost 12 years of happiness and he was possibly as old as 16. I’m still reading articles on pet loss and euthanasia just trying to find some comfort somewhere. Thanks again and my heart goes out to everyone else here because I know the heartbreak well
Hi
I have read this article with interest. We have an 8 year old GSD and since he was young he has had health issues at the age of 4 he had bloat and we were lucky that the vet managed to save him, 6 months later he got it again and survived. He now has arthritis in his back and legs and is prescribed Gabapentin & Cimalgex. We have noticed that he has muscle wastage in the back area and its now obvious to us that he is still in pain, the vet has told us that it would be steroids next as he is at the top of the range for the strength of the painkillers (he takes 9 tablets a day). We know steroids will bring their own issues so are unsure whether we will go ahead with these, he also has an eye infection and his behaviour is changing, he’s agitated most times and will not let us near him to clean his eye. I think we are facing the hardest of decisions, I am ashamed to say I have, in the past kept a dog going because I couldn’t bare to let them go so Im not gonna make that mistake again. We see the vet this Friday 12th April 2019 and Im dreading it.
It is with great sadness that I had to put my 15 year old fella down March 27,2019 after a 2 year battle with CHF.
Jake went weekly to have abdominal aspiration done at the Vet. He took 23 pills a day and he STILL wagged his tail smiled and loved us with all he had. He was amazing. His sweet wife went every week with him to the Vet as well. Muffy is 17 and they were life long sweethearts and were never apart. So now that he’s gone she had been sad and feeling bad. Her Vet visit today showed metastatic lung cancer and she’s down to weeks left too. I feel sure Jake’s missing his wife but again I’m left with the sadness and emptiness of the most beautiful souls I have ever known leaving me. And I just want to say your article has given me some peace in that I know when it’s that time yet again it is truly my “greatest act of love!”. Thank you for a wonderful article .
Thanks so much for this article everything that’s written about euthanasia and how we feel is so true I feel like I realise I did the right thing even though it hurts me so much my staffy was not quite 12 but was suffering with progressing dementia and didn’t realise that it started 18 months ago how as euthanised 6 weeks ago now and I still miss him terribly I feel I cannot ever get another dog because I would be replacing him and comparing them I beat myself up every day thinking could I have done more to prevent dementia or even delay it till he was older there’s one consolation and that’s we had time to prepare and say goodbye even though he’d forgotten us I just hope he remembers us now and is happy the last thing he did once he was gone is wag his tail something he’d not done for a long time
Dakota “Kota” bear was the best German Shepherd a man could have. I bought her as an 8 week old pup in 2008. I was 20. A few months ago she started dragging her back legs scraping the top of her paws and falling down stairs. She was only eating a little bit. I took her to the vet but it wasnt arthritis. It was nerve death. She was loosing control of her body and it was progressing quickly. I brought her home for another month but ultimately I couldn’t bring myself to watch her keep falling down. I held her head in my arms when the vet gave her the injection. She was very alert and curious and still happy I believe. But the suffering was coming fast and I wanted her to go a happy dog. I can’t get over the feeling I did it too soon. But I was assured that this was not the case. I do feel like I stole life from her. Like I killed her. It’s tearing me up inside.
Kota bear. May 3 2008. – December 9 2019
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for providing this information. My wife and I have had dogs throughout our 35-year marriage, and it never gets any easier to have to put one of them to sleep because each one has his own unique personality. We took in a nine-year-old Welsh corgi who had Addison’s disease. Against all odds, he should have been gone but we kept him alive for five years by finding the right vet and medications to give him so that his disease didn’t flare up. He was our “special needs” boy and we love him to death, and always will, because he is a survivor. It got to the point where his hind quarters gave out on him and he became incontinent. You could look into his eyes and see that he was asking us to help him. We have an appointment with the vet tomorrow to have him put to sleep. We’ve put it off twice but have come to realize that he will never get better and that it’s our own selfishness speaking instead of letting him go. I feel a certain calmness writing this comment because it gives me some sense of certainty that we are doing the right thing. We will miss him terribly but I have to keep telling myself that we gave him five years of quality life he otherwise would not have had. He has certainly enriched our lives. Bless you all on this site who are struggling with this issue or have gone ahead and made the difficult decision to give their pet the final rest they deserve.
Thank You for the article. I had it my dog down yesterday totally unexpected and was looking for a comfort that I didn’t do it too early.
He was limping for about 2 weeks, and one week on medication didn’t help, so we went for X-ray. He was sedated and vet came out saying ‘Unfortunately I have bad news’ I really thought he was just being sore, but he has lost his appetite during the week on medication, and looked tired and confused.
He was found to have tumour caused by osteosarcoma in his back right leg above the knee and considering his age and damage done for the bone, I was advised to euthanize him. Before sedation I had no idea he will not wake up. It’s horrible and I’m heart broken, but I hope one day I will confirm to myself I did the right thing, because now I feel guilt and guilt only.
He was beautiful Siberian husky, extraordinary and we lived two of us for years.
Thanks for the article and all the stories. I just put my 13 year old Lab, Taylor to sleep. It is heart wrenching no matter how prepared you think you are. When you say the words to the vet it breaks your heart. My guy has had very bad arthritis in his shoulders and elbows for a few years. He also had a cancer lump removed from his elbow about a year and a half ago and has hyperthyroidism. Even through all of this he was still a light. His eyes were bright and he was the first up to greet you in the morning. He never wined or complained, just closed his eyes in joy when you rubbed him. I was like a few of your other writers – I thought, I can deal with this, slower walks, softer heated beds, massage. But I found a new lump about a week ago. A big, hard, embedded one in his groin. After making and cancelling a few appointments over the last few months, I knew I had to bring him this time. The vet confirmed it was a high probability of cancer. He didn’t even think it was fair to put him through the diagnosis process. I knew euthanasia was the best option, but my heart broke right there in the exam room. How do you say goodbye? 2 mins, 5 mins, an hour…. sigh…. do I stay in the room or let them do it. In the end I stayed – it was so hard, so sad. My heart is so heavy. He was a gem and will be sorely missed. I pray he is in heaven and running through the grass happy and pain free, and I pray my heavy heart heals.
Today is a very sad and gut wrenching day for us. We are faced with having to put our beloved 14 year old long hair Chihuahua down today. Bernie was the love our our life. He was pure joy and a faithful companion. After losing our first dog 8 years ago, we now have to face reality of having him put down as well. We came home one night 3 1/2 months ago and he didn’t greet us as usual. We took him to the emergency and he was diagnosis with pericardial effusion and after a x-ray and scan it was discovered that he had a tumor as well. We were advised that euthanasia was an option. We were not prepared for that answer and decided to take him to our own Vet. Our Vet ran blood work and x-ray and agreed with the first diagnosis. She prescribed steroids and now we are at this juncture. He has withdrawn, only eats due to the steroids we give him and doesn’t take interest anymore in anything, sleeps and breaths heavy especially at night. Woke up this morning at 5 am due to him panting and when he didn’t go out to pee or drink water I new the day had arrived. Now just waiting for the appointed hour to bring him in and to say goodbye. It is with the heaviest heart that we do so. Life will go on, but a piece of us will be gone as well. We will keep him in our hearts and minds forever. And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make, Bernie gave us more.
Thank you for sharing your experience in this article. We had to let our chocolate lab, Milo, last night. And I’m at a loss, overwhelmed by an “avalanche of emotions”. He was almost 11 years old. It was one of the hardest decision we had to make.
I hope you memories of him help to heal some of your pain. I am faced with a similar situation with my beloved Chocolate Lab Ranger. I am a 50 something married man with 3 grown boys but he is one of my best friends in the world and my heart breaks with the thought of putting him down. His prognosis is guarded and not clear without exploratory surgery which makes it even harder… my heart is broken and I honestly don’t know what to do.
I just can’t help but thinking I am taking him ahead of his time… I wish he could tell me what he feels, he wants.. I know it sounds crazy but it is heart wrenching!
We have appointment to put down our 11 year old Coon hound pointer mix Spencer tomorrow- he was diagnosed with lymphoma in March and he tried to fight it but sadly he is deteriorating –he is such a huge part of our family i am heartbroken – The unconditional love that this dog has given to all of us and the wonderful memries will ilve on but there will be a void in all of our lives – It is a horrble decision to have to make – but we cant watch him suffer –
Thank you for writing this and everyone else who has shared their story. I am facing the same situation with my 15 1/2 year old buddy. He has a large tumor and was doing just fine until a couple of weeks ago. He is on rimadyl and gabapentin (I give that to him only at night as it seems quiet strong). He doesn’t complain, eats, goes for walks and potty, and still and off and on will wag his tail. I know the time is getting closer…
My friend, who is a vet said something powerful to me, she said, “you don’t want his last memory to be “shitty” (nor yours) and “better a few days early, than a minute too late.” We are keeping this in mind, while we try to have some “great” days together.
This is an excellent article, very well thought out.
Putting your best friend is a very painful, heart wrenching decision and it is not fair to have others make that decision for you. You (and your family) must get together and make a call. I think even if 1 person is against the idea, I don’t think a final decision can be made.
Our Golden just turned 14, and has been suffering from painful hip problems for a few months now. We put him on NSAIDs but it has not really helped him recover. He is 14, which is very good age to live for a Golden.
I spoke to the vet and outlined my options (as stated in this column). I spoke to my family members. My kids (20 and 13) took it very bravely. My wife would not say yes/no definitively.
This week, Jimmy was beyond miserable. He just could not stand up on his own, or support himself on his own. He would fall on the wooden floor, and a carpet also didn’t help because of the weakness in his hip. That’s when I decided as the head of the family to take things to their logical conclusion in the best interest of our beloved pet. Jimmy will go to dog heaven this Saturday.
Thank you sharing your story. It has brought some relief from the guilt and grief all pet owners feel at this time.
I had to let go of my sweet Hiker girl this morning. She was an Australian Cattle Dog. She was my hero. Nine years ago I adopted her from a rescue shelter 4 months after my husband died. She was my rock. She got me through the grief of losing him and now I am grieving her. Everything you said here is so true. I have not been able to stop crying all day and I know I will feel this way for a long time. I know the loss of a person or a pet never leaves you. The will be a hole in my heart forever for my Hiker.
These comments have helped me a lot to make a decision to have our Jack Russell terrier put to sleep. Because of Covid my vet will not see us face to face and explain if it’s time. I guess I’ll call the vet and see what they can offer us.Thanks to this site!
Forgot to say that Clyde is 18 yrs old.
My lab is 11 half yrs old had her since 6 weeks old .she has a big tumour inside her back leg and arthiritis.j know it wont be long before i have to say goodbye .shes all ive got left my partner died of cancer 4 years ago .we are in lockdown because of covid i just cannot bear to drop her at vets door and not be with her to say goodbye as no kne is allowed inside vets .any advice please on what to do .im so stressed and do not want to see her suffer shes my best friend ive ever had shes mgot me through the pain and heartache of my partners death.
I’m putting my dog down this week.
Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me. I’m trying, even as I write this comment, to make a decision regarding euthanasia. I rescued my Abby, a chocolate lab(?), when she was approximately eight months old. She’s now 13 1/2. I know her time has come as she is in pain for most of the day. We’re past the point of pain medication and now I keep her sedated for most of the day just so she’ll be comfortable. I’ve already made, and canceled, one appointment to have her euthanized. I just couldn’t go through with it. Our mornings are great! She seems to be pain free. Then the afternoon comes and she can’t hide the pain. Now the painless mornings are getting shorter and shorter. I tell myself that by keeping her comfortable, I’m doing the right thing. When you stated in your article that as a human, “is that what you would want?” I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut. I constantly saying that when the time comes and I can’t enjoy life anymore, “please, LET ME GO!” I know what I have to do and again, thank you!
This article really helped me out alot. We lost our poor sweet boy 9/25/21 after he was hit by a truck. It was the hardest night of my life ever. My sweet boy had a complete spinal injury, incontinence and just seemed to be in pain. I’m so upset that this happened because he was not yet 2 years old. We loved him so dearly and spoiled him. I’ve been beating myself up over putting him down. Could we have gone through and helped him? His breed unfortunately does best when they run, hunt and herd. So it was not the option. After reading this I felt a bit better and thank you for sharing. He was my Velcro dog and so it’s just been rough. I am slowly finding peace in this situation and I am glad my husband and I were with him the moment it happened until he was put asleep. We never left his side and he was told over and over how loved he is how such a good boy he is. I know he is now running again pain free and running which is what he loved the most. That’s the biggest factor in our decision. I have a newborn coming so it’s just a bittersweet moment for us. We love our boy and it’s just been a rough three days. But as you said time will heal. We love dogs but we did not expect this so soon. Once we feel ready we will open our arms hearts and home again to another dog or two. Thanks again for this comforting article.
Thank you for your heart warming story, I cried all the way though it.
My 11 year female lab Abbi has cancer in her rear toe area it has been 3 weeks now and the cancer is getting aggressive
We have had her since the day she was born, the mom is still with us the dad passed. Away 3 years ago
I know I have to put her down the hard thing is she is very active, eats, plays and gives me the comfort look like she knows how I’m feeling. It is just way too hard to let her go. So I have started the sad process to get me and Abbi prepared.
Thank you for posting your story
2/19/2023